I have been so reflective these last few days, thinking of the things that contribute to my personal happiness. I don't have it figured out by any means... (that would take a lifetime)! But I do have some things that I know is the most important to me...
As any mother would say we want successful relationships with our children, open communication, and mutual respect for eachother. This is one of the most important things in my life! I keep asking myself, how do I maintain to have a successful relationship with my kids? Having the desire is not enough, I need to do MY part! I need to be first, an example, I need to give respect, in order to get respect. Demanding respect is potentially hazardous! I need to listen to them, really listen. Sometimes we as parents think that the, "what we say goes" mentality is the answer to raising successful adults! Children turn into adults that are a product of their environment! Fear is not respect!
My relationships with the spouse, family and friends: Relationships are a lot of work, in all aspects! You need to nurture them, and maintain them. I cannot ask of them, if I don't show the same effort. How can I expect to have a bond with those around me, if I do not feed and nourish the relationship? I tend to get so busy, and caught up in my own little bubble, that things get put on the side, (I'm sorry!). It becomes a selfish act really. Is it really so important to have the spotless house, perfectly groomed children? For me, I lack putting deposits into my relationships because I'm just a little to caught up, IN ME! I cannot believe I just admitted to that!
Knowledge: I have always been a person that if a subject interests me, I will dive in, and learn as much as I can about it. The thing I haven't done, is broadened my mind! I see someone speak on a passion in which they have, but I have no interest in learning about. I am learning to listen, and observe, and then research! I am loving this, and I am craving more and more! We all have our interests, and our favorite subjects, but now I am finding more and more that is becoming interests, that never were! Thank you everyone for enlightening me!
Me: ( I know another selfish thing, but hear me out!). How do I expect to be a better mom, wife, friend, relative if I don't take care of ME? I have become detatched spiritually, how did this happen? I am not speaking on a religious scale, just talking about my spirit, and myself! I love it when I meet someone, and you see their beauty comes from within, that they truly are content, and they have meshed their body and spirit perfectly. Some call this aura, or really feeling the, "spirit" when they are present. What I see when I meet these people is Peace. They are having no inner turmoil, because they know who they are, and what defines them. It is not the fancy cars, the clothes, nice houses, hairstyles, and pedicures.. (even though, don't lie, we all love a good pedi!). I see the connection they have made with their spirts, and I find it inspiring. Their Peace has come from within, and only from themselves. I LOVE THAT!
These are not the most important things to me, but just some of the ones that I have been thinking of lately! Like I said, I have been reflective, and don't judge me if I sound selfish, I don't mean it that way at all! Of course I have other things that I find important, DUH! My books are important to me, they have kind of become my babies! I like to look at at the titles sometimes, and remember what that book was about, it's just the nerd coming out in me.. it's ok! I do think it's important that I get a little black dress, I don't own one, and I really think it's a wardrobe essential. Girls night out is still important to me, even though spouse objects. Sorry honey, you just don't make a good girlfriend, it's nothing personal! Unfortunately a clean house is important, it just makes me happy to see the sparkly floors and clutter free countertops! Don't you just love the shine of a newly dusted piece of furniture? Anyways, thanks for listening to my reflective self, and I just know that other silly Melanie will drop back by SOON! I'm kind of sick of all this seriousness!
So today, I quit... again! For good, I can't handle it any longer! My spouse hates it, my family hates it, my friends tell me how unhealthy it is all the time. I am so lame for even starting this dumb habit! But I am going to do this, I will not buckle, I will not cave. I... AM.... STRONG!!!!!!!!!! These next few weeks could be a little difficult for me, I may be a little on the edgy side, and perhaps a tad bit more impatient than normal. I'M SORRY! Bare with me though family, the outcome will be worth it! 
