Unmanageable, NO WAY!



We all know that Carter is unique, and "spirited", but he's wonderful, funny, charming, and more than anything LOVEABLE! This is MY baby boy! Ya, he makes me cry somedays. You bet I want to put a little leash on him sometimes, but geeze he's constantly making me laugh, and isn't that what life is all about?Life is meant to be lived, and he lives it fully! His curiousity takes over his entire brain, no matter where we are, it as if he is forced to open every cupboard, drawer, peek in every bag and box, and find ways to climb to the highest heights. It doesn't matter where we are, he will not let anything get in his way! He's my go-getter, my mechanic, and again... MY baby boy!

After a conversation with someone who has had new interaction with Carter, there has been some talk of him being unmanageable, "quite" the handful, (bouts of uncomfortable snickers). I am the first person to admit that Carter is a challenge, he's different from my first, and it has taken lots of learning, reading, talking, and receiving advice about how best to deal with a boy with this much drive, and passion. Some think this is a weakness though, and not to say I haven't vented about it myself, because I definitely have. My doctor told me, "I can already see that he's one curious boy, but to be serious, NEVER, EVER, squash him of his curiousity, this is Carters' greatest strength". His energy, and his love for life, and everything in it is who Carter is, it's part of his make-up. How dare I, try and stop this boy, and break his spirit? You really can't change a person, we with husbands know this, right??!!

After my venting to friends and family about someone telling me how Carter has become a handfull, and disruptive, I came to a conclusion. We al have different kids for reasons, Bonnie has triplets, I couldn't do triplets, (I don't know how she does it so well). I would be bored to tears with a child that was not running around, I myself can't sit still! Carter is meant for me, for my family, Carter is a perfect fit!
My point of this post is this, if you see a child who is, "unmanageable, or quite the handful", remember that handful is somebodys child. Children are different! Certain children belong to certain parents.

Thank you Carter for choosing me, thank you for all the smiles, and laughs you give me!


Remembering

Today is an anniversary, but I don't love calling it that, because I equate anniversary to a fun and exciting stamp on the calendar that is special, and celebratory. But there are also anniversaries that are sad, and meloncholy. This type of anniversary today, is one of mourning, and sadness, a little meloncholy is how I'm feeling.

I remember this day so vividly, and it was 14 years ago, I was only a 17 year old girl living life, and loving life! I remember where I was every moment of this day, I remember my only worries in life were wondering how to sneak in the house past my curfew, and trick my parents into thinking I woke them up, but they just didn't remember.

I remember coming home from a night out with some friends, sneaking into the driveway an hour late, and seeing too many cars in my driveway, too many lights on in my should be dark house. I remember the fear that gripped my stomach, and knowing something was wrong. Running to the back to door to be greeted by someone who I don't even know, and had to deliver news to me that I wouldn't be able to bear. I remember asking, begging what was going on, I remember the nod of her head when I asked if my mom was alive, I remember the scream I let out right there on my back porch. Getting in her car to see my family at the hospital, the drive all the way there, my asking this stranger how I was supposed to go on, and she only listening to me. I remember thinking, my life would never be the same....

Walking into the E.R., seeing it full of family members, and friends at 2:00 A.M. I remember collapsing, crying and looking at my Bishop, and continuously saying, "why Bishop, WHY?!" Seeing my sister in her hospital bed, and my grandparents had aged right before my eyes. I remember the fear, despair on everyones faces. Aunt Barb walked me to the bathroom so I could throw-up. I remember being so angry, refusing all offers of blessings, and medication from nurses. I remember the cot they brought in for me to be next to my sister all night long, Aunt Suzy was there, and all we did was talk, and cry, my sister waking up in between with tears, and during her sleep I could see her dreaming, and hear her moan. So much sadness, so much heartache.

Not only had we lost our mom, my sister was newly married, and had the news delivered to her that her husband may face the same fate, and he was in critical condition in the ICU at University Hospital. After months and months of fasts, prayers, and her husband fighting for his life he was released, a miracle in itself. I am so grateful he is with us, I see him as a miracle, he calls himself indestructable! He now has 3 beautiful children with my sister, and has been an amazing example for all of us. We love you Jer!

I don't know what our Maker was thinking, and don't understand, and never will why he took her so early, in the height of her happiness, she was sooo happy, life was so good to her, and she was only able to be with her husband, and love of her life for 5 short years. We all got jipped!!

I am grateful for my family, grateful for my relationship with my Aunt Suzy, whom I love sooo much! I am grateful for my big sister, who now thinks she is my mother. I am grateful that my grandparents made sure that we were a close nit family, so when faced with trial, we could lean on one another, and share our deepest feelings without judgement.

Although it's been hard, and the missing never stops, I have grown into a woman now, with children of my own, a husband that loves me, and a life I am proud of. I know my life would have went down a different path if we still had her with us, but I am a mother to a beautiful 10 year old boy, who I know would not be with me if I was not faced with this trial. I have learned to survive, to fight uphill battles, and to conquer hard knocks. I have been blessed with Carter, and ever since he was a baby he would point to her picture, and become fascinated by her. I know she had a hand in sending him my way, because she always promised me I would get one, "just like me"! Good one mom, and THANKS A LOT!

Although it is in anniversary, it's bittersweet. I am reflective and appreciative of the time I had with her. I am thoughtful, and memories tend to flood in around the looming anniversary, and then the day comes, and I laugh and cry, take paper flowers, (daisies, of course) that Carter and I made to the cemetary, and having an enormous amount of appreciation for what she taught me, and the memories she provided for me. All those Tigers Blood snow cones, the Cherry Cokes, and sour patch kids, the cheers and tears at spelling bees, and dance recitals. Her encouragement, and dedication. The love a mother gives is like no other, I finally realize what she meant when she said, "when you have children of your own, you will understand".

For my sister, I love you, and am so happy we have each other. So glad that your voice is the one that is in my head. I love our laughter, and I love our talks. I love your children SOOOO much! I love our friendship, and no matter how different we are, (night and day) I am so glad that you're the sister I have! I am glad I have you to remember mom with, and to have someone so close to me experience my loss, at the exact level as I did. You are beautiful, you are smart, and amazing. You are a wonderful mother, and have taught me so many things about being a good mom. I love that I can call you, when I need advice on my children. If one is sick, I don't think twice about who I am going to call. Mom was right sis, we did need each other after she was gone.

Love and miss you, will never forget you!

Get Over, "IT"....

I try to always have a smile on my face, to only think good thoughts... but this last weekend, I have been mad, sad, stressed, and really mad! It makes me feel worse to feel this way, so why do I do it? As I have gone in to my 30's, (at a rapid pace might I add!) I have had self talks, and voiced to others that being mad or bummed out is not worth it. Holding a grudge only makes it worse, and it doesn't affect anyone as much as it affects my own self! Why not just turn the other cheek, choosing to not be offended? Peace is a much happier place than hate, animosity, or being sad! I understand the blues, and can tolerate them for about a day, but if it goes longer than that... GET OVER IT!

So this blog is my self talk, and reminder. I am upset over something I have no control over, why am I doing this to myself? Hate is not in my vocabulary, I even make my children say, "I don't love it, or that, or whatever it is". Even sweet little Lance is starting to say, "I don't love" instead of hate. So it's time for me to GET OVER IT! Move on little lady, and keep smiling!

I fed the homeless yesterday, and my precious Brayd came with me.... I have started to refer to him as, "grandpa" and he calls me "grandma" because our favorite thing we do together is sit in my bed, with our books and read and read and read! Back to what I was saying though, so "Gramps" and I went and fed the homeless, it was a good day. Worked very hard, and it was very cold, but we received lots of smiles, and happy faces from our friends! They love the chicken noodle soup I make, they literally come back for 2nds and 3rds before breakfast is even served! I have started making more, because the leaders, and volunteers love it too! "Gramps" told me it was the best batch I have made yet! I love him! I love going down there for several reasons, but also I need to put myself in check sometimes... Look at how truly blessed we are, and be grateful for all the things I have, like dental insurance, health insurance, a house, a car, ON DEMAND! There is so much to be happy about, and more than anything there is so much I have to look forward to! Life is great to me, life has blessed me. There will be no more dwelling on this end... at least I sure hope not! I'm going to work really hard at pushing any negative thoughts out of the way... 


Sebastion Part 2


So many have been asking for updates on my friend Sebastion, and I have just been way in over my head with all the holidays, and holiday clean-up! This picture was taken the week following my first post about Sebastion. I brought him and his sister some toys to open, and they were so dang cute! His mom, Lily, informed me that her husband had left them, and she didn't know where he was. She was crying, and so lonely and sad. She really became my friend, and hopefully I have become hers.

It was cold, so I offered to take them back to the homeless shelter they are staying at. But honestly, I couldn't do it!! So I asked them to come over and spend some time at our house, and have dinner with my family. It was AWESOME!! Sebastion sledded, I bathed Krashell, the baby. Lily was able to shower at the house, and she laughed with all of us, and hung out like they were part of the family! Her favorite thing about being here.... ON DEMAND!! Seriously, she hasn't watched T.V. in a while! What simple pleasures huh?
After much thought, and discussing things. Lance and I decided to forego any gift giving for eachother and make sure this family had a wonderful Christmas. We bought them lots of fun toys, clothes, and I let Lily call her dad Christmas morning, in Peru. Something she does not get to do often at all. She hadn't spoke to him in at least 6 months. Sebastion talked to his grandpa as well. It was a memorable Christmas season, and honestly one I hope that stays fresh in my mind.



I am still making Chicken noodle soup every sunday, at 4:00 A.M. to take down and feed the homeless under the viaduct. I love this part of my week. I look forward to it, and it has become addictive. They love the homemade noodles, and seriously I couldn't let them down and not show up!

This service that I have been doing, has changed my life. For the better. It has added more, and given me much to ponder. I will never fully be as humbled as I need to. I am always going to want more, and be horrible with budgeting and spending. BUT, I'm contributing to something great, and it's teaching me about loving unconditionally, keep judgements to myself, and stop worrying about me all the time!

Christmas at the Strossers!



Carter sitting on Santas lap at the Christmas Eve party! He loves Santa SOO much!

Although Braydon know's the "secret" it was still magical sitting on Santas lap.
The most amazing people in our family, although Grandpa, mom and Uncle Arvis were not with us physically, they were there in spirit, knowing them they wouldn't miss this party for anything! We missed you guys!

Both boys got their super awesome bikes this year! Braydon was really excited, and surprised!



This is the gift that keeps giving for Carter! He asked for a doll house, but he got a firestation/policestation, and although he keeps calling it his doll house, we all know it's a boy toy!

Sebastion....

Today was an especially emotional, and trying day for me as I fed the homeless under the viaduct. It was beautiful, but difficult if that makes sense. I was INCREDIBLY succesful in the small clothing drive I organized. Many, many kids, and adults are now in their new winter coats, and gloves thanks to all those who donated. I had one little girl who will be 3 in March come with no socks or shoes. We quickly wrapped her in blankets, and I was able to hold her, and put on her new Tinkerbell socks, and pink boots, along with a coat that she gladly put on, and LOVED! Her brothers' name is Sebastion, he's 7 years old. I gave him a bunch of Braydons old clothes, and snuck in a few more than I was supposed to. Sebastion was awfully quiet at first, barely even whispering as I spoke to him. I think he was confused by all the treasures coming his way. The mother and father were probably some of the nicest and gentle people I have ever met. I was able to talk with them, (yes, they let me leave my post so that I could get this family prepared for the cold). Sebastion and I talked about Christmas, and his favorite tv characters. He really wouldn't talk much at all, and I felt like I just wasn't earning his trust in any way, shape or form. After I went back to work, he came up to me, and said, "I know who my favorite character is, it's SPONGEBOB". I was floored, was he talking to me? Was he smiling at me??!! After that Sebastion didn't leave my side, talking and laughing and fist pumping with me! He asked me if I would be there next Sunday, and told me he was excited to see me, and he couldn't wait. I then started asking him what kind of toys he likes, and things he likes to do. He likes books, and cars. Trust me, I will come bearing gifts for this little guy, and his sister next Sunday. How could I not? He had me wrapped around those cute little fingers of his the moment he told me about Spongebob. I looked over, and saw his mom and dad both tearing up, and watching our interaction. I went over to them, and wrapped my arms around both of them, telling them they will get through this.... They were incredibly joyful, and grateful. As they were about to leave, Sebastion ran to me, and gave me a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. I hugged the rest of them, and turned around with tears in my eyes, brokenhearted, and touched. One of the men that helped form the organization asked me if I was okay, I sobbed and said, "no, no, I'm not okay". How could I be, Sebastion and his family were walking 4 blocks in the snow to go to the homeless shelter they were staying at. I so wanted to run after them, and do whatever I could. I cried for a really long time, I couldn't stop the tears, and as I looked around many more were crying with me, deeply touched by what they just saw.

I know I can't save the world, I know that I can't save them all, and that some of the homeless that I feed, are they because of the choices that they made... I just like being with them, I love the feeling of surrounding myself with people not just wanting, but doing things for people. My spirit is being fed. I wish I could do more, but just being there helps.... ask my new friends, they will tell you the same thing....

Sebastion, I can't wait to see you next Sunday, so bring your fist pumps, and hugs! Thank you for your kindness, and for being my new friend, I promise Santa is going to come and see you this year, and it will be magical!!

Love,
Melanie

Christmas Cheer, Feeding the Homeless, and the SNOW IS HERE!!






I always think, I'm going to blog today, no not today, tomorrow. Then before you know it, weeks have passed us by, and I haven't written a thing! But there is sooo much to say!! Where do I begin?

Feeding the homeless: Here is where this all began, for the longest time I have wanted and needed to do some sort of service, but lacked in doing so. I called Drew, (my cuz) who is always involved in something, and in the know with this sort of thing. He gave me a few options, and I decided that feeding the homeless under the 500 South Viaduct downtown Sunday mornings would be absolutely perfect for me! Cold, or not, I knew this is what I wanted and had to do! The alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m. I gather the parka, layers of clothing, wool socks, 2 beanies, 2 pair of gloves, and toddle off around 6 to be sure I am there by 7, because I was forwarned if I were late, I could possibly be turned away. This experience has taught me much, and fed me more. I cannot believe what I have seen. I am thrilled to be there, and I almost feel a slight buzz in the air the entire time we are there. It's hard work, it's a lot of work, and it's freezing cold. BUT, after 5 hours I climb back in my car, crank up the heater and come home to my family; to my warm house, my favorite flannel sleeping bag, my favorite spot on the couch, watching movies with my family. I am blessed! Some of these people live on the street, sleep in the park because they have been turned away at the homeless shelters due to overwhelming demand. Some of these people start lining up before we get there, as if they have been looking forward to this since the last Sunday breakfast.  


This last Sunday Braydon wanted to come with my, yes my 10 year old was totally okay with getting up at the crack of dawn knowing full well how cold it was outside to come with me, and experience feeding the homeless. I am so proud of him, so proud of his emotions, and how much sympathy he had. He saw a mom with a baby in only a onsie, and helped the mom by carrying her food for her. He came back visibly shaken, and worried sick about both of them. He worked so hard, and never complained although our fingers and toes felt as if they were falling off. He gladly jumped in wherever he could to help, and especially loved washing the dishes because the hot water felt sooo good! I love you Braydon, and I thank you for choosing me!

I started a small clothing drive to get warm clothes, because truthfully I saw one too many children with out coats, one too many babies in only a onsie, one too many kids without gloves, one too many men with only a t shirt on, and one too many women with only a dress, and slippers, and her bare legs poking out. I could take it no more! I mentioned to a few people that if they had any coats, hats, jeans, gloves, sweaters, sweatshirts that I would gladly be taking donations to take down to the Sunday breakfast, and donate to my new friends. I have already had an enormous response, and have been emotionally charged at what people are willing to do. I had a coupld people give me some new items, that they went and bought because I asked for donated items. I couldn't believe it! I am stoked to take the treasures, and excited to know that we have helped boys and girls, women, and men... babies to get a little bit warmer during this cold time of year. The first Sunday I went, we served 494 homeless and families in need. Thank you everyone, your kindness is overwhelming, and I am grateful to know you!


Christmas decorating: For those of you that know me, Christmas decorating makes me sooo happy! I love the trees, the berries, the lights, and ornaments. I love it all! I love decorating my house during the holidays, and shopping, and giving, and playing in the snow! Here are some pictures of the decorations! Braydon and I got on the ladder, and put some bulbs around the chandelier, and he was hilarious, because he's afraid of heights!

SNOW IS HERE: Seriously, this is awesome! I think I just heard that little click on my bindings when I step in my snowboard! Tonight we broke out the snowblower, and all played in the snow, Carter could hardly wait to get out the door, and was a trooper the entire time we were out there. Is there anything prettier than the snow falling, (when your not driving)? Is there anything better than watching your kids making snow angels?