Sebastion....

Today was an especially emotional, and trying day for me as I fed the homeless under the viaduct. It was beautiful, but difficult if that makes sense. I was INCREDIBLY succesful in the small clothing drive I organized. Many, many kids, and adults are now in their new winter coats, and gloves thanks to all those who donated. I had one little girl who will be 3 in March come with no socks or shoes. We quickly wrapped her in blankets, and I was able to hold her, and put on her new Tinkerbell socks, and pink boots, along with a coat that she gladly put on, and LOVED! Her brothers' name is Sebastion, he's 7 years old. I gave him a bunch of Braydons old clothes, and snuck in a few more than I was supposed to. Sebastion was awfully quiet at first, barely even whispering as I spoke to him. I think he was confused by all the treasures coming his way. The mother and father were probably some of the nicest and gentle people I have ever met. I was able to talk with them, (yes, they let me leave my post so that I could get this family prepared for the cold). Sebastion and I talked about Christmas, and his favorite tv characters. He really wouldn't talk much at all, and I felt like I just wasn't earning his trust in any way, shape or form. After I went back to work, he came up to me, and said, "I know who my favorite character is, it's SPONGEBOB". I was floored, was he talking to me? Was he smiling at me??!! After that Sebastion didn't leave my side, talking and laughing and fist pumping with me! He asked me if I would be there next Sunday, and told me he was excited to see me, and he couldn't wait. I then started asking him what kind of toys he likes, and things he likes to do. He likes books, and cars. Trust me, I will come bearing gifts for this little guy, and his sister next Sunday. How could I not? He had me wrapped around those cute little fingers of his the moment he told me about Spongebob. I looked over, and saw his mom and dad both tearing up, and watching our interaction. I went over to them, and wrapped my arms around both of them, telling them they will get through this.... They were incredibly joyful, and grateful. As they were about to leave, Sebastion ran to me, and gave me a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. I hugged the rest of them, and turned around with tears in my eyes, brokenhearted, and touched. One of the men that helped form the organization asked me if I was okay, I sobbed and said, "no, no, I'm not okay". How could I be, Sebastion and his family were walking 4 blocks in the snow to go to the homeless shelter they were staying at. I so wanted to run after them, and do whatever I could. I cried for a really long time, I couldn't stop the tears, and as I looked around many more were crying with me, deeply touched by what they just saw.

I know I can't save the world, I know that I can't save them all, and that some of the homeless that I feed, are they because of the choices that they made... I just like being with them, I love the feeling of surrounding myself with people not just wanting, but doing things for people. My spirit is being fed. I wish I could do more, but just being there helps.... ask my new friends, they will tell you the same thing....

Sebastion, I can't wait to see you next Sunday, so bring your fist pumps, and hugs! Thank you for your kindness, and for being my new friend, I promise Santa is going to come and see you this year, and it will be magical!!

Love,
Melanie

4:12 PM | | 5 Comments  

Christmas Cheer, Feeding the Homeless, and the SNOW IS HERE!!






I always think, I'm going to blog today, no not today, tomorrow. Then before you know it, weeks have passed us by, and I haven't written a thing! But there is sooo much to say!! Where do I begin?

Feeding the homeless: Here is where this all began, for the longest time I have wanted and needed to do some sort of service, but lacked in doing so. I called Drew, (my cuz) who is always involved in something, and in the know with this sort of thing. He gave me a few options, and I decided that feeding the homeless under the 500 South Viaduct downtown Sunday mornings would be absolutely perfect for me! Cold, or not, I knew this is what I wanted and had to do! The alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m. I gather the parka, layers of clothing, wool socks, 2 beanies, 2 pair of gloves, and toddle off around 6 to be sure I am there by 7, because I was forwarned if I were late, I could possibly be turned away. This experience has taught me much, and fed me more. I cannot believe what I have seen. I am thrilled to be there, and I almost feel a slight buzz in the air the entire time we are there. It's hard work, it's a lot of work, and it's freezing cold. BUT, after 5 hours I climb back in my car, crank up the heater and come home to my family; to my warm house, my favorite flannel sleeping bag, my favorite spot on the couch, watching movies with my family. I am blessed! Some of these people live on the street, sleep in the park because they have been turned away at the homeless shelters due to overwhelming demand. Some of these people start lining up before we get there, as if they have been looking forward to this since the last Sunday breakfast.  


This last Sunday Braydon wanted to come with my, yes my 10 year old was totally okay with getting up at the crack of dawn knowing full well how cold it was outside to come with me, and experience feeding the homeless. I am so proud of him, so proud of his emotions, and how much sympathy he had. He saw a mom with a baby in only a onsie, and helped the mom by carrying her food for her. He came back visibly shaken, and worried sick about both of them. He worked so hard, and never complained although our fingers and toes felt as if they were falling off. He gladly jumped in wherever he could to help, and especially loved washing the dishes because the hot water felt sooo good! I love you Braydon, and I thank you for choosing me!

I started a small clothing drive to get warm clothes, because truthfully I saw one too many children with out coats, one too many babies in only a onsie, one too many kids without gloves, one too many men with only a t shirt on, and one too many women with only a dress, and slippers, and her bare legs poking out. I could take it no more! I mentioned to a few people that if they had any coats, hats, jeans, gloves, sweaters, sweatshirts that I would gladly be taking donations to take down to the Sunday breakfast, and donate to my new friends. I have already had an enormous response, and have been emotionally charged at what people are willing to do. I had a coupld people give me some new items, that they went and bought because I asked for donated items. I couldn't believe it! I am stoked to take the treasures, and excited to know that we have helped boys and girls, women, and men... babies to get a little bit warmer during this cold time of year. The first Sunday I went, we served 494 homeless and families in need. Thank you everyone, your kindness is overwhelming, and I am grateful to know you!


Christmas decorating: For those of you that know me, Christmas decorating makes me sooo happy! I love the trees, the berries, the lights, and ornaments. I love it all! I love decorating my house during the holidays, and shopping, and giving, and playing in the snow! Here are some pictures of the decorations! Braydon and I got on the ladder, and put some bulbs around the chandelier, and he was hilarious, because he's afraid of heights!

SNOW IS HERE: Seriously, this is awesome! I think I just heard that little click on my bindings when I step in my snowboard! Tonight we broke out the snowblower, and all played in the snow, Carter could hardly wait to get out the door, and was a trooper the entire time we were out there. Is there anything prettier than the snow falling, (when your not driving)? Is there anything better than watching your kids making snow angels?


8:38 PM | | 5 Comments  

Hasta La Vista, BABY!

I have a confession, don't judge me though, K? Try to look forward with me, and know that something is about to change!

I feel like I need to preface, just because it's kind of a big deal. Six years ago, I was planning a wedding, MY wedding. I was nervous, anxiety was owning me, and as you all know... this is my second marriage so I was even more of a wreck, than just the first time jitters a person gets. Of course I was excited, and thrilled but terrified as well. During this time, I picked up a nasty habit. A really embarrassing, can't believe I'm admitting this habit! I started, GULP... smoking! Yes, I did, and it was only when I was stressed or when anxiety was peaking. But those nasty little suckers wrapped their venomous, nicotine filled fingers and took a strong hold on this girl, right here! I can't believe this happened to me! I used to tease a cousin of mine and lecture her for this exact same habit, and now I was doing it too?? What the hell!!???

Pretty girls don't smoke! I care about what I look like, it makes you ugly!! UGLY! STINKY! It's gross! Why did I keep doing it for all these years, when I know all of this?? I mean, seriously?

I have quit 2 times, both of the times it lasted for about 6 months each. The last time I quit, I didn't even want to smoke again... it was EASY for me... but then, I caved, buckled under pressure, and started right back up again using stress and anxiety as my excuse! LAME!

So today, I quit... again! For good, I can't handle it any longer! My spouse hates it, my family hates it, my friends tell me how unhealthy it is all the time. I am so lame for even starting this dumb habit! But I am going to do this, I will not buckle, I will not cave. I... AM.... STRONG!!!!!!!!!! These next few weeks could be a little difficult for me, I may be a little on the edgy side, and perhaps a tad bit more impatient than normal. I'M SORRY! Bare with me though family, the outcome will be worth it!

So, here it goes... bring on the candy, gum, and any other tasty treat I can substitute for these babies! I will endure, you will endure, and we will PREVAIL!

10:51 AM | | 5 Comments  

I Am NOT Dumping You!!

Reason I say this? I wanted to blog, for just a moment. A second of time to jot down some thoughts. Geeze louise guys, lighten up! This is me: "start the movie guys, I am going to blog, real quick" seriously it was only going to take a second. This is them: "Your dumping us for a COMPUTER?? Gasp!" First of all, I was by no means DUMPING, I just needed to take a moment to blog my nagging thoughts. Dinner has been served, jammies are on, bedrooms cleaned, laundry folded, (except for towels, but I really like to fold while watching a movie with the fam, so it's okay!)

But really, if you were me and you had these nagging thoughts, you would find that you also would have a sense of urgency to get these thoughts down! I promise, just wait til you read what has been nagging me for almost a month, and it wont go away!

I.Want.A......... BABY! Seriously, I want, I need, it's a must have!! Two months ago this was me, "No babies for this chic, I am SO done! Sleep deprivation, and everything being destroyed by the one and only CARTER, put me into, "anti-baby" mindset. Understand my anxiety? Really do you? So NOW WHAT? Seriously, I don't get this newfound, unrelenting desire to expand the fam. I.Thought.We.Were.Done! On  to the next chapter of our lives, ya know what I mean? Carter is in school 3 days a week, and I get to FINALLY have Melanie time that I have sooo desired! I clean out closets, and organize when I never had before! I go to coffee with friends on the mornings he is at school, and now I want to ruin all that? I mean seriously it will all go out the window once there's a bun in the oven! What am I thinking??? I am going to give it some time though, think about this for a good long while before I start harassing the spouse! I have dropped a couple hints though, just to, "feel" him out. He doesn't sound too hopeless, and almost happy with the prospect? Does the spouse secretly covet a baby too??? WOW! That just barely popped in my head! Anyways, I'm still going to wait. Think, and think some more. I only have 2 kids, 2 boys at that! Even my animals are boys. I am surrounded with boys, but would welcome just ONE MORE! But can you imagine if I had a little baby GIRL? Dresses, Disney Princesses, tea parties, tu-tus, shoes galore... and DOING HER HAIR!!??? Plus all that pink??? Pink everywhere, finally I would feel more even! Let's admit 2 girls can TOTALLY take on 5 boys, (2 of which are animals). We could own them! My eyes are glossing over as I speak!

So there you have it, I want just one more baby. But I'm going to think about it.... to be sure, or course! 
   

7:05 PM | | 1 Comments  

20 Random Facts About ME!

Thanks for tagging me Kate! These posts have been so fun reading, and I felt it necessary to lighten things up!

1. As I stated in my last post, I don't own a LBD, (little black dress). I want one, bad!
2. Hugging my dad is sooo awkard, I start getting anxiety if I know it's coming!
3. Hugging my sister is even more awkward than my dad!
4. I love my make-up, sometimes I take all my eyeshadows out, place them on a towel, put them in color schemes, and just stare at them. I love them!
5. I like the Hallmark Channel, no wait.. I love it! Especially during the holidays.
6. Math is my worst enemy!
7. I don't love the Twilight Saga, but I'm now reading them for the 3rd time, I'm currently on Breaking Dawn.
8. I really do want to be a domestic goddess!
9. I laugh really hard at crude movies... Will Ferrell, Step Brothers... What is my deal?
10. When I hear someone use the, "F" bomb, it makes me laugh. It's funny, I don't care who you are! Unless you were like.. my GRANDMA! She has never said that word!
11. Scrabble is my all time favorite game.
12. One time when I was 13 or 14, my step-dad told me to go jump really high on the tramp and see if I could see the ice melting off the plane that was flying above the house, and I went and jumped with all my might, while mom and Leo just watched amazed at the ridiculousness! (They told me if I saw that, I could put the sprinkler on under the tramp, otherwise the ice was still frozen, and it was still too cold!)
13. One time I found a kitten on the way home from school, and put her in my backpack, then told my mom there was a cat at our house that wouldn't leave... We had Bear for 4 or 5 years....
14. I thought I was going to be the first girl player in the NBA, and believed it.
15. When I was 7, and in 2nd grade Mr. Whitesides threw a piece of chalk at me and pegged me right square in the forehead to stop from talking. I cried.
16. In 7th grade I coerced my math class to go on strike, we all stood in the back singing, "we will, we will, ROCK YOU". Poor Mr. Numbers, (yes that was really his name).
17. I always feel fiercly protective of Diet Coke when I hear someone announce their love for Diet Pepsi, (LINDSEY SUE!!!!!).
18. Candy makes me really happy, sometimes I hide it from everyone and eat it late at night.
19. When people sniffle it makes me SICK, I call it, "snarfuling" because it just seems more appropriate.
20. I can't stand the sound of a #2 pencil righting on paper, I drown out the noise by making a hissing sound while writing!

I TAG, JANNE', DON'T BE A CHICKEN!

12:26 PM | | 3 Comments  

What's Important??

I have been so reflective these last few days, thinking of the things that contribute to my personal happiness. I don't have it figured out by any means... (that would take a lifetime)! But I do have some things that I know is the most important to me...

As any mother would say we want successful relationships with our children, open communication, and mutual respect for eachother. This is one of the most important things in my life! I keep asking myself, how do I maintain to have a successful relationship with my kids? Having the desire is not enough, I need to do MY part! I need to be first, an example, I need to give respect, in order to get respect. Demanding respect is potentially hazardous! I need to listen to them, really listen. Sometimes we as parents think that the, "what we say goes" mentality is the answer to raising successful adults! Children turn into adults that are a product of their environment! Fear is not respect!

My relationships with the spouse, family and friends: Relationships are a lot of work, in all aspects! You need to nurture them, and maintain them. I cannot ask of them, if I don't show the same effort. How can I expect to have a bond with those around me, if I do not feed and nourish the relationship? I tend to get so busy, and caught up in my own little bubble, that things get put on the side, (I'm sorry!). It becomes a selfish act really. Is it really so important to have the spotless house, perfectly groomed children? For me, I lack putting deposits into my relationships because I'm just a little to caught up, IN ME! I cannot believe I just admitted to that!

Knowledge: I have always been a person that if  a subject interests me, I will dive in, and learn as much as I can about it. The thing I haven't done, is broadened my mind! I see someone speak on a passion in which they have, but I have no interest in learning about. I am learning to listen, and observe, and then research! I am loving this, and I am craving more and more! We all have our interests, and our favorite subjects, but now I am finding more and more that is becoming interests, that never were! Thank you everyone for enlightening me!

Me: ( I know another selfish thing, but hear me out!). How do I expect to be a better mom, wife, friend, relative if I don't take care of ME? I have become detatched spiritually, how did this happen? I am not speaking on a religious scale, just talking about my spirit, and myself! I love it when I meet someone, and you see their beauty comes from within, that they truly are content, and they have meshed their body and spirit perfectly. Some call this aura, or really feeling the, "spirit" when they are present. What I see when I meet these people is Peace. They are having no inner turmoil, because they know who they are, and what defines them. It is not the fancy cars, the clothes, nice houses, hairstyles, and pedicures.. (even though, don't lie, we all love a good pedi!). I see the connection they have made with their spirts, and I find it inspiring. Their Peace has come from within, and only from themselves. I LOVE THAT!

These are not the most important things to me, but just some of the ones that I have been thinking of lately! Like I said, I have been reflective, and don't judge me if I sound selfish, I don't mean it that way at all! Of course I have other things that I find important, DUH! My books are important to me, they have kind of become my babies! I like to look at at the titles sometimes, and remember what that book was about, it's just the nerd coming out in me.. it's ok! I do think it's important that I get a little black dress, I don't own one, and I really think it's a wardrobe essential. Girls night out is still important to me, even though spouse objects. Sorry honey, you just don't make a good girlfriend, it's nothing personal! Unfortunately a clean house is important, it just makes me happy to see the sparkly floors and clutter free countertops! Don't you just love the shine of a newly dusted piece of furniture? Anyways, thanks for listening to my reflective self, and I just know that other silly Melanie will drop back by SOON! I'm kind of sick of all this seriousness!

12:05 PM | | 1 Comments  

Opinion, or Judgement?

Why is it that some people think you want to hear their opinions? People just force it down your throat, and freedom of speach has just gone to a whole new level! I just want to say, "SHHH". But I don't think that would even stop certain people. Maybe I could gently place my hand over their mouth, or just hit end on my phone... but I don't wanna be rude!

If I live my life one way, and you live your life the other... does that mean one of us is wrong? I like to believe it just means we are different from each other. I actually enjoy diversity, doesn't everyone?

Have you no courtesy? I'm by no means perfect, but like to believe when asked for an opinion I will give it, but if not asked..... you know the rest. Opinions can be maliscious. Opinions can make people afraid to be who they really are, especially when certain opinions are severely narrowminded. Opinion can be harsh judgement! I have this family member, who is opposite of who I am. This person thinks so narrow, and so unlike anyone I have ever met. That doesn't mean I don't love this person, nor do I judge this person. Nor do I tell this person my opinion on the way this person lives their life. I don't always agree with them, but I will not force my opinion down their throat. WE ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!! When I say, "your really hurting my feelings"... the response was, "brutal honesty, that's what real friends and family does".

Brutal honesty does not come from the way you THINK someone should live their life. You don't have all the answers, nor do I. So live, and let live. So that I, and anybody else can feel comfortable enough to be real with you, in my OPINION, that is true family, and friendship!!!

11:05 AM | | 2 Comments  

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