As any mother would say we want successful relationships with our children, open communication, and mutual respect for eachother. This is one of the most important things in my life! I keep asking myself, how do I maintain to have a successful relationship with my kids? Having the desire is not enough, I need to do MY part! I need to be first, an example, I need to give respect, in order to get respect. Demanding respect is potentially hazardous! I need to listen to them, really listen. Sometimes we as parents think that the, "what we say goes" mentality is the answer to raising successful adults! Children turn into adults that are a product of their environment! Fear is not respect! What's Important??
As any mother would say we want successful relationships with our children, open communication, and mutual respect for eachother. This is one of the most important things in my life! I keep asking myself, how do I maintain to have a successful relationship with my kids? Having the desire is not enough, I need to do MY part! I need to be first, an example, I need to give respect, in order to get respect. Demanding respect is potentially hazardous! I need to listen to them, really listen. Sometimes we as parents think that the, "what we say goes" mentality is the answer to raising successful adults! Children turn into adults that are a product of their environment! Fear is not respect! 12:05 PM | | 1 Comments
Opinion, or Judgement?
Why is it that some people think you want to hear their opinions? People just force it down your throat, and freedom of speach has just gone to a whole new level! I just want to say, "SHHH". But I don't think that would even stop certain people. Maybe I could gently place my hand over their mouth, or just hit end on my phone... but I don't wanna be rude!
If I live my life one way, and you live your life the other... does that mean one of us is wrong? I like to believe it just means we are different from each other. I actually enjoy diversity, doesn't everyone?
Have you no courtesy? I'm by no means perfect, but like to believe when asked for an opinion I will give it, but if not asked..... you know the rest. Opinions can be maliscious. Opinions can make people afraid to be who they really are, especially when certain opinions are severely narrowminded. Opinion can be harsh judgement! I have this family member, who is opposite of who I am. This person thinks so narrow, and so unlike anyone I have ever met. That doesn't mean I don't love this person, nor do I judge this person. Nor do I tell this person my opinion on the way this person lives their life. I don't always agree with them, but I will not force my opinion down their throat. WE ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!! When I say, "your really hurting my feelings"... the response was, "brutal honesty, that's what real friends and family does".
Brutal honesty does not come from the way you THINK someone should live their life. You don't have all the answers, nor do I. So live, and let live. So that I, and anybody else can feel comfortable enough to be real with you, in my OPINION, that is true family, and friendship!!!
11:05 AM | | 2 Comments
She's baaack....
Wow, it has been so long since I have last blogged, (sorry about that, it was so hard doing memories of my mom). I gave up the blogging world due to nice weather, and fun to be had! We enjoyed so many awesome moments during the summer, and now here we are back to Halloween, and fall, snowstorms, and chicken noodle soup! I love it for now though, and I now fully know what to expect come this winter!
Life has been crazy lately, there's this swine flu thingy going around and combined with strep throat it's a nasty little sucker! Carter and I both got it, and now we are perfectly healthy folk around this house!
It's hard to catch up on the last 6 months in one post, so I wont even attempt it, for your sake! Carter has been to the ER 3 times in the last 6 months, and still keeping me on my toes. He's talking like crazy, we potty trained his little bum, and he is now in school. We do a sticker chart to promote, "gentle touch", and homeboy is killing it!! Good job Carter! He loves his teachers so much, and loves going to school. Braydon is in pee-wee football, playing for Alta Hawks, and he has come so far, it's amazing! We have made so many great friends from football, and will miss our little family we adopted during the crazy, and all consuming football season!
Redsox got owned in the playoffs, and I admit it... I am sad. BYU is not doing their best for the spouse, but he's a different man than he was last year, so he's okay with it, kinda.
I am so glad that I am able to experience the gift of motherhood, and all the smiles my boys bring me, and hubs too!
So here goes guys.... if I have any followers anymore... sad! Stay with me, it shall be entertaining, and.....
Things I am the most grateful for:
Carters words
Lances' good moods
Braydon is finally learning to turn off the lights
precious minutes I get to talk to big sister
My grandmas phone calls, just to tell me she loves me
Friends from the past
Newfound friendships
Jack, my dog
Lances' amazing hugs
Carter in the morning
Braydon walking in the door from school
My seriously old, and tattered flannel sleeping bag, how I love it!!
3:10 PM | | 4 Comments
The Dance.....
This is the situation that I came across...
My mom the, "do-gooder"... she was such a sweetheart, and never wanted to hurt anyone, nor did she allow her children to hurt anyone!!
I was allowed one, "hall pass" during my high school years, and that was my junior prom. I was asked to prom this year by 2 boys, and they were definitely both catches for the prom, but I said yes to the first guy, because my, "dream date" took forever to ask me, and when he finally did, I said, YES. My mom was so ticked that I did that because I already said yes to someone else... She was not pleased with my decision. Bare with me though, my, "dream date" finally asked. Melanie was happy, mama was not!! I ended up going with the dream boy, but my mom told me that I would never be allowed to do that again.
THE DANCE>>> It was Christmastime... I wanted to go with a special someone, but another someone asked me to the dance.... before my special someone. Although my special someone asked me.... HE WAS LATE!! My mom MADE me say yes to the first boy that asked, and although he was nice as heck, I wanted more. I ended up going to the dance with my, "2nd choice" No group of friends, nobody else, just he and I. I want to say that this boy was, "nerdy" but I know that sounds horrific of me to say, but it was and is what it is. I was 16, and wanted more than ever to be with my group of friends, and when my 2nd boy finally asked... mom made sure that I said yes to the first boy.
Now this may not sound as a sweet memory to me, but now that I am a mother of 2 boys... The girl better say yes!!!!!!!!!! I was taught a bitter sweet lesson in that time of my life. I have a memory of that dance, but more than ever, I have my moms sweet voice saying, "there is no way in h-e double hockey sticks you will say no!! I watched Monty Python for my first time that night!! Thanks mom, we need to talk about this when I see you again!!!
Love,
Melanie
10:38 PM | | 2 Comments
Simple Pleasures.....
My mom never had expensive taste, and it literally did not take much to bring her happiness materially... I really admire that. She didn't need fancy dinner dates with her husband, or fancy clothes and cars, nor expensive vacations. For sure Lance wishes that rubbed off on me a little more!!
Some of her favorite things in her life, that brought her much happiness.
- Sunday drives with Leo, and grandma and grandpa.
- Family parties, she loved any get together we had.
- Her brothers, and sister. It seemed they could talk for hours, and about anything.
- Camping with our family
- Do any of you remember, the "Honey"?? This was her first Motorhome, that she bought used with Leo, and I promise you... She was excited beyond belief. She cried. She cleaned that sucker inside and out, and took such good care of it. It was sooooo old, but she loved it soooo much. I must say, I have many fond memories in that motorhome as well.
- Fishing with her hubby, and dad.
- Her daughters... I swear she almost loved us too much. We were so spoiled. But she also loved hanging out with us too. She was very loving, and so passionate about us.
- Saturday lunch dates with Suzy, and the girls.
- My cousins Lindsey, Jamie, and Drew... she loved all of her nieces and nephews so much, but these 3 seemed especially special to her. Jamie always said she wanted Aunt Shawnee to hold her because she had, "nice pillows".
- Her kittys.
- Watching my cousins play softball
- Thursday night Knotslanding
- Watching the Jazz games on tv
- Diet coke
- Black Licorice
- Planting flowers
That's just a few that really pop out in my mind. I really mean it when I say how simple she was. I look at her and see the tiniest things would light up her life. I tend to forget the small things that make me the happiest, and this is a reminder to myself to be again, more like her.
6:28 PM | | 5 Comments
The Sports Fanatic....
Okay so this is actually one of many fun and exciting things about my mom. She was such a sporty woman... she loved to play softball, and to watch the Utah Jazz like crazy... My mom would sit and yell at the TV when John stocton was wrongfully accused of either a foul he got called on him, or the intentional foul the refs ignored toward John Stocton. She taught me to become the Jazz fan I once was. I knew the stats, and plays, and remember the first Jazz game I went to with my mom and sister. Really, it is one of my favorite childhood memories.
Also, my mom the softball player... Seriously she worked for one company that had a coed team for softball, and they took it so incredibly serious... BUT... they sucked!! I was their number one fan though... I promise. I was always going to every game, and cheering them all on. My mom played catcher, and 2nd base. To this day if I ever play 2nd base, I think of her and her softball days. I remember one game in particular. Now let me preface a little bit. My mom rarely struck out, and pretty much always hit a grounder that sometimes went to rightfield. She was not the small, athletic type but she was passionate. She never wanted to let her team down. (so my mom) one time she hit one of those grounders and ran with all her might... she was not the fastest, but again she wanted it the most. I overheard one guy and his buddy making fun of my mom, I was maybe 10 years old. I can't remember for sure, but I walked up to those men, and said, "That's my mom, ASSHOLE". A lot of the fans heard, and some of the team heard. Now of course that was not the best thing for a little girl to be saying, but I heard much encouragement after from the group of people that overheard me after I said it. My sister always loves this memory. So do I.
My mom tried to reprimand me for this, but she couldn't. I really think when her 10 year old daughter stuck up for her, meant the world to her. I could tell. BUT she is my mom, I would do the same thing again today.
I miss those days, watching the games. I swear, we were O for 100... but we still thought no matter what we would, "get em' next time".
Thanks again for reading the memories... I love sharing them with you.
7:06 PM | | 2 Comments
17 Years...
That's how old I was when my mom passed away. I find it hard to believe what a short period of time that really is. But although the time was short, I have found myself saying so often to myself that I wouldn't trade it for anything. The memories we had, and the moments our whole family shared during that brief window, is more than so many people have in a lifetime with their family. I am excited to start doing this today, but I am also super nervous too. I want to be able to share with you, my memories, and special, sacred moments we shared. Bare with me on these posts, I hope you enjoy reading them, as much as I enjoy re-living them.
THE RED CRAYON:
This will spark a memory for some of you, and anyone I went to elementary school with in the 3rd grade. As most of you know, my mom was a single working mother for most of our childhood, at times we were broke!! DEAD BROKE... (I actually never knew this until I grew up, and realized the sacrifices she made for my sister and I). In the second grade, I told my mom I wanted to be a, "red crayon" for Halloween because my hair was red too. I thought this was a great idea. My mother is not a seamstress, nor was I. So when we set off on making our costume, here is how it went... (I so wish I had pictures). She buys me bright red tights, red turtleneck a red hat, red poster board, a black sharpie and some rope! The night before, we stayed up and my mom got her ruler out, made the lines so perfect on the poster board to make it look like a, "red crayola crayon" she punched holes in the tops for the rope to go into. The next morning I put my crayon on, my tights, and my little red hat. It was held up by the ropes over my shoulders, and I WADDLED to school in this costume. We did the school parade, and I was so proud of my red crayon costume. UNTIL.... We all went back to the classroom to sit down and do our work... but... I couldn't sit.. I was wearing a posterboard dress, that was stapled. I had only my red tights underneath, and my teacher proceeds to tell me to stand in the back of the classroom. I did too, and finally after what seemed like hours he tells me to go home and change. Later that night when I was out trick or treating, I saw this little boy, in the Green Crayola Crayon costume, and it was store bought and made out of nice soft, past his knees fabric. Not the breakable, held by staples and rope posterboard I wore. The thing is.... I bet that boy doesn't remember how hard his mom worked on his, or maybe he doesn't even recall being the green crayon that year... But I will always remember my red crayon costume, that I couldn't sit down in, or worse yet, go to the bathroom while wearing it.
I think it's so cute how hard my mom worked on this, and really how I beamed while wearing it. Honestly... I cannot tell you the gratitude I now have for that costume she made me. Isn't it funny, when we are kids, and things we are most embarassed about, tends to be some of our favorite stories, and memories as an adult.
We miss you mom, and thank you so much for the, "red crayon" costume. I have shared that story so many times... and laughed until I cried!!
Love,
"Your little shit.."
Melanie
5:53 PM | | 5 Comments